Hello,  my name is Laurie. ​

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I want to first say thank you for having  curiosity to find out who i am and what I am about. 

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First of all, I've come to believe God in all ways has lead me here to you. Through the wilderness to band women together and form community by way of shared experiences that have shaped us for good and bad. 

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A little bit of my story goes like this. Complex yet so simple when I figured it out. Adopted as a baby from South Korea by a American white, southern man from Alabama who was serving in the military. 

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I grew up with love but not the kind of "Love" I now have come to know within myself.  Adopted into a family with secrets that destroyed the fabric of the soul within family members that involved abandonment, abuse, neglect and traumas that lingered into my veins as a child. 

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On the out side we were all but seemingly happy, yet dysfunctional to the core. 

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Love was illusive, manipulated at times and not even aware of it. Love was in many cases, just a fourletter word that was void of meaning because actions were either lacking or misunderstood in its context for control or lack of empathy often.

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So fast forward through life I became a shell of a human. Long before the abusive relationship that nearly destroyed me. I was that human that showed up with a smile, yet so lost inside and constantly running and seeking.

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Love. To feel validated. To be valued To feel alive. 

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Grew up in multiple marriages my father went through. Called multiple women mother, and had a lot of resentment and anger within. 

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Mix that with moving around every 2 to 3 years and my family was all white from the south, except my adopted brother who is also Korean, 

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The ground in which I stood was shaky at best. 

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Then the icing on the cake was that I was in a longterm abusive relationship that almost cost me life in which I tried to commit suicide but more importantly. I lost my soul. 

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Shame, fear, anger, guilt. You name it. It was all me and then some. I had lost my daughter from my first marriage but have sinse then reunited and now have a grandbaby that I am so blessed to be apart of his life. Lost touch with family members, and stayed out of fear, and shame to be honest. 

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I was twisted into a person I didn't recognized nor really loved at the core. 

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So the journey i came to realize. God had to break me. I had to surrender to make me whole. To make me new. 

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You see I was always worthy. I just didn't see it. I had to let go of searching for love in the all the wrong places and accepting illusions of what love was. 

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When I realized Love was always with me. Within me. By the grace of God through Jesus. Everything was clear. Slowly the layers started to peel back and I saw truth as it was and not in some optical illusion. 

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It is through our suffering is where we will find ourselves. I know it is not a popluar concept in western culture. In a world that flees from things that press us or we mask our pains through addictions and pills. We hide from it every chance we get. Weakness is seen as not a strength but looked down upon. Told to get over it. Or it will get better etc....

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It is through through the chaos where you will find yourself. You will find God and discover He was always there with you. But just like a parent who has to make hard choices for their children. They see you make choices that they know will be detrimental to their life but in the end they have to go through to get to the other side. There is where your character will either shine or dwindle. 

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So my hope is my story. My journey will help you see the light at the end of the tunnel. To help you in your discovery process and unfolding in the most beautiful ways. To not be held to chains of the past and the unknown but to live in the present moment in all it's fullness. 

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I hope to be someone to help you see that life isn't happening "TO" you, but "For" you. To shape you into this amazing human being. I played the victim role for the first 45 years of my life. I found my voice, my strength, my soul by what Love is. 

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I had to find it within to be anything to anyone of substance. If you feel I may be of service to you, I want to help you in the unfolding of you. If not, it's ok. Life is not a sprint to the finish line. It is like wine where the best wine ages in the best enviroment is aged to perfection rather than wanting it sooner than later. 

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It's the journey. The one step forward, one step back. the twist and turns, ups and down, the unknowns that shape us little by little. 

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Be Bold. Be Brave. Be Beautiful 

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May God bless you and keep you in HiS arms and you know love as it was meant to be.